Baby Joe

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Baby Joe, according to Finn is his baby "brudder".  "Baby Joe" is in most conversations in our house. Finn talks about him daily. I don't know how the idea of him came about but one day Finn just started talking about this little boy in heaven. A baby boy who is waiting to come to Earth and be in our family. Now Finley has reserved the middle seat of the car for "Baby Joe". He has told me numerous times his "brudder" has brown hair and brown eyes. At first Joe and I laughed it off but after awhile we started to listen to his stories. Everything he says about this little boy is so interesting. Finn talks about being heaven with his brother before he was born and came to earth.  Many times he points to the sky and says "Baby Joe" is looking at us from Heaven. Sometimes it gives me goosebumps.

Oh my tender, sweet boy... Maybe just maybe there is a little boy in Heaven who is suppose to be in our family. Maybe... Someday we'll know. 

Sonnet Ruby & Holland Rose

There is one little girl in particular I just can't seem to get off my mind these day... little Sonnet Ruby. My sweet friend, Angela gave me the honor of capturing her pregnancy here of her twin girls. Then I received a phone call around 9:30pm one Sunday evening from her husband, Danny asking if I was ready to take photos of a twin birth. I couldn't get out of my pajamas fast enough. Just the thought of being there with my friends as they welcomed their daughters into this world couldn't have made me happier. I was a crazy woman streaking through the house, half naked trying to find my camera, cards and charger, worried I was going to miss it. Turns out... this was my second birth I missed. Not because I was late. No, I got to the hospital with plenty of time to spare this time around. Plenty of time to wait and wait and wait. Finally when those babies were good and ready to come out it turned out only Danny and Angela's mom were allowed in the room. So I picked my sorry can up off the hospital floor and headed home at three in the morning.

I finally got my chance to capture these two out of utero. I snuck on over to Angela's house and spent three or so hours basking in newborn bliss. Waiting for the right moment. Hoping both would fall asleep at the same time. Rocking one baby while the other nursed. Slowly taking off blankets as not to wake up two little newborns just to find out one was peeing without their diaper on and the other spit up. After I was through Angela and Danny's bedspread looked like a war zone. We had blankets and spit up and pee and binkies and changes of clothes everywhere. I left exhausted and a little bit happy I got to go home to just two kids and a little bit sorry that I didn't know how to really help my friends with their new task of parenting not only twins but four other children. 

It has now been a few weeks since I spent that morning in newborn baby bliss and I wish so badly I could say that Danny and Angela are still basking in the glow of having two new babies. Last Thursday evening as I sat putting my own kids to bed I heard the dreaded sound of sirens outside my window. I rushed out my front door to my neighbors. There Sonnet lay after an accidental fall. Accidents happen, they can happen to anyone, even the very best of parents. Now I spend my every waking moment thinking about that sweet baby girl and my friends and the hardships and trials they are facing. I pray fervently that Sonnet will make a full recovery and in a month from now this will all seem like just a bad dream. 

To my friends Angela and Danny know that I love you and your family. Our little street, Rifleman Drive has become family over the years and just like with any family their heart aches are your heart aches. My heart is aching. 

Maybe it was a coincidence I came across this saying tonight:

"Struggles are required in order to survive in life, because in order to stand up, you have to know what falling down is like."

Sonnets snuggles will be that much sweeter. Her eyes will be that much brighter and rainy days won't seem so rainy when this is all said and done I hope.

All my prayers and love,